Every year on this date I remember too late that I’ve been meaning to figure out how to hide my birthday on Facebook. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the sentiment behind “happy birthday”, I use the phrase myself to honor the wishes of those who choose to celebrate the anniversary of their arrival to the human race with excess carbohydrate consumption and merriment. For me, however, I don’t believe in “happy birthday”. I don’t believe in celebrating aging and, since the day I turned 30, I cannot for the life of me understand how anyone could feel happy being reminded that the sands of your hour glass are steadily yielding to gravity like magnetic nipples on the tin man and there’s nothing you or the best plastic surgeon can do to stop it.
On September 6th I acknowledge the anniversary of my arrival by choosing instead to just be present. To listen and take heed to the universe as it issues yet another warning that time is running out and asks “What have you done so far?” and “What do you have left to do?”. As I type those questions my heart rate picks up from my usual resting rate of 55 and skyrockets to an alarming 140bpm, at which point I’m sitting here thinking “Is that atrial fibrillation? Oh my god, bear down!” I will shed a few tears in memory of the hopes and dreams that were abandoned along the way and the mistakes that can never be undone. At the end of the day I will wipe away the last drops of self-pity and regret and send up my most heartfelt gratitude to the universe for reminding me that I’m still here and forcing me to take stock in the long list of what I have accomplished, to update the even longer list of work yet to be done, and to once again give thanks to whomever it was that invented Botox, Zoloft and Silicone. I will remind myself that others who persevered found great love and great fortune in the second half. I will never give up 5 minutes before my miracle. After all, the secret to a happy life is not that we arrive at our destination but that we enjoy the scenery along the way. Today I am most grateful to have so many beautiful and loving friends and family. Without them, there would be no one to lie and tell me I look fabulous for …29. ❤